There are those who try to mask their pain. That’s all they are doing. They try to run from it. Believing that it will consume them, take over them, destroy them.
And the more they run, the more it consumes them because they’re afraid of facing it. There is nowhere to run. Pain is with them, wherever they attempt to go to avoid it. They keep meeting it, day after day after day. And nights become nightmares. They don’t accomplish anything but become phobic and numb.
They go to a great deal of trouble o mask their pain, convincing themselves that they’re ok, fine, but it’s just a façade, a pretense, until the next trigger comes along to show them that they’re not. They are suffering, and that can only be masked for a while; they are victimes of their suppressed pain. They cannot be whole.
If you deny your pain, you’re not living. You’re walking dead, looking over your shoulder, fearful of joy too because “it might not last”. And it doesn’t! So, you try to exist emotionless, with mediocrity mixed with complications, seemingly untouched, un-human, like an executing machine, carrying out purposeless actions because they lack heart, because you’re afraid of hurting.
When you face your pain, you become stronger. You learn from
it, you grow from it. You transform yourself through enduring, understanding,
honoring it. Realizing the reasons for it, becoming aware of a much bigger
picture than was initially available. It’s dark, it hurts, it dissolves you and
it rebirths you. It’s life! Birthing involves pain.
