A sadness that touches the boundaries of grief! Very useful! You don’t drown when you’re conscious. In a way, it’s also beautiful!
You sink into areas you wouldn’t, and see things like only grief can show you. Unless you’ve drowned in guilt and shame, which take away any other option, your sight, your energy; everything.
Sadness is a “place” that might seem empty, a standstill, a defeat but it’s nothing of the sort! It allows you to explore even deeper context, from a totally different perspective.
Many are drowning in arrogant/victim states, keeping secrets, back-stabbing, cheating, lying, immorality, pretending. Defending the non-existent with such obsession, guarding the nothingness with so much fierceness; it’s saddening.
Having said all this, everything happens as it should and everything that is needed exists. When you know this experientially, you have no regrets, bitterness or in any way fighting the old. This too, is what we need to experience; our Self has decided to see through.
Turning the page is based on little details, small changes that happen naturally once you understand. If you observe them, you can then appreciate and stand on them, like stepping stones, to show you where you are.
A different kind of introspection that doesn’t have much to do with “meditation” but rather you meditate through everything that you do and are. Researching other subjects of the myriads that exist is a big part of learning about yourself, apart from the classic philosophical and psychiatric “soul searching”. It’s realizing there’s much more to you AND the world than your previous paradigm imagined.
It's a right brain method of integrating, connecting and seeing the whole through expanding the experience of the part, that is you! It transcends language, left brain measurements and comparisons, dogma, and all that the left brain does by default (or conditioning). But it does require re-education to shift from one paradigm to another.
When people say something like, “let’s hope that this will be
a good day”, I no longer ask them what they mean… getting lost in the game is part of the process of knowing what is by knowing what is not.
Being born is not enough.
We were born to be reborn.
Everyday.
Pablo neruda