I think that people misunderstand my “attitude” because they’re bound by their’s. Funny, this never occurred to me so clearly before, in this way!
So, here’s how it goes:
I’ve always been able to talk with my self exactly as I liked.
There were no “self-talk guidelines” in my head or prohibitions to avoid. I can
say anything I please, in any way that I feel in the moment without receiving
back any humiliation or judgement about my “attitude”. And I don't have secrets!
I even write much of it down, to see it clearly, to contemplate on whatever exists in the moment, to be aware of my many phases and journeys. Taking notes helps in many ways.
Sometimes I sound
teacherly with my self, sometimes silly, sometimes wise, friendly, advisory, whatever. But
no matter what, I always feel close, like a bond that never breaks, like a
sanctuary that I can retreat into, depend on, that is self-sufficient. It also brings healing, peace, and so much more that most people search for outside.
I’m the same with people too and also in my writing. But this makes people uncomfortable quite often. I learned the hard way (still learning) that “we don’t play like this here; there are rules”!
- You have to pick a role, a job description, an image, an ID
- You have to play by the common rules or moraligiocity (whatever) and acceptable manners.
- You need to make a name for yourself and stick to it.
- Be kind, be this, be that..
And other things that I don’t remember now…
But I wouldn’t be me! I’d be bored, insecure, bound.
I don’t want to “grow old gracefully”. I want to grow me.
And then I also learned that many people don’t even know how to do this with themselves; BE themselves! They need to be detaught and retaught with someone they can trust and consider close to them. We only learn (and teach) experientially anyway!
Anyway, this was just an introduction (another one) to a vast topic!
All this, falling in time with the start of the new academic year.. or rather conditioning year ahead.
Being kind is easy!
Choosing not to be consciously takes self-mastering.
Social morality (conditioning) is short-lived and meaningless.
